I used to believe there is always some positive side to everything, and that something good will eventually come around no matter what sufferings we have endured, but it turns out I was naive. So naive that I get to understand it until now. Bitterness just keeps coming for no reason, and we will have to go through the hardships without knowing where the end will be.
Too many things going on hurt me for so many times. Yes, I shed tears whenever I feel like crashing down. Tears, however, are worthless because they are only a token of weakness. Tears are of no help at all; I teach myself not to cry every time I sense my fear and pain. Miraculously, I harden my heart to the extent that I can run away to myself whenever I smell something wrong.
It is coward, I know. But I get to protect myself from getting hurt at least.
Love and hate exist simultaneously. I cannot take hate and hurt anymore. So it is sad truth that I can only leave love there.
I am not a person without feelings, but I am just scared of being given wounds that are not going to heal.
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